Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

The Vanishing Mail


Am I Just Being Paranoid Or Are The Robots Out To Get Me?

It all started in the early part of the twenty-first century.

In the early days of email we were thrilled with its speed and reliability, far superior to "snail mail" but there's always somebody who has to go and spoil things for everyone else. In the case of email it was the purveyors of the namesake of a certain pork-based substance. They became such a nuisance that large teams of robots had to be employed to keep them under control.

As the porkers got smarter, the robots had to become smarter still. At first, everybody agreed that stringent measures must be taken to defeat the porkers. Ever hear the phrase "throwing the baby out with the bath water" or "the cure is worse than the disease"?

The number of spam merchants multiplied over and over. Eventually, the only way of controlling them was for every email user to have his or her own robot to filter their mail. I did not want a robot filtering my mail but I didn't have much choice: nobody was allowed an email account without a robot to monitor its use.

Every time I log into my email, I pause and listen for the faint metallic scraping and a slight pneumatic wheeze as the robot wakes and prepares to filter my mail. No matter how quiet I am, he always knows and is instantly awake and alert, ready to do his job. I did not request robotic help, don't want it, don't need it but the robot is here to stay.

I think my robot is like the paranoid android in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: slow moving and depressive, so I call him Marvin (not to his face, of course). I don't suppose my Marvin feels that censoring my mail is a suitable occupation for a robot of his caliber, any more that his namesake thought attending the car park at the end of the universe was a great career for a robot with a brain the size of a planet. On my part, I am sure that I am old enough to take full responsibility for my own correspondence. There is no need for Marvin to wear out his circuits on my account but it appears that we are stuck with each other for the duration.

The extent of Marvin's power first caught my attention when a regular newsletter which I enjoyed failed to arrive. Delivery just stopped altogether.

I asked my email provider if there was a problem with this particular mail and they said there was nothing wrong with my mailbox, it must be a problem with the sender. I asked the sender why delivery had stopped and they said it hadn't, it must be a problem with my mailbox. I gave up and just resubscribed myself to the newsletter. Every time delivery stopped after that I wondered what else I might be missing in the way of interesting mail.

It was shortly after this that it became apparent to me that Marvin has a bad attitude. Now I can sympathise with him because I know how it feels to be stuck in a boring job while the brain cells shrivel. That doesn't mean I think he should behave badly, he should do the job to the best of his ability (even if it is beneath him) and not make mischief.

Everyone seems to believe that the robots keep changing the rules in an effort to keep ahead of the porkers but I don't believe that. I think they keep changing the rules mostly out of boredom but, in Marvin's case, I sense a certain underlying malevolence. This surfaced recently when I sent an email to a friend I had not heard from for a while. My mail bounced back with a message to the effect that spam would not be delivered. How dare they, Spam indeed! From that day on, every mail I tried to send bounced straight back at me.

Angrily, I contacted the email company support desk to complain. They helpfully told me that this problem was nothing to do with them, I must have used forbidden words in my emails and that was why they bounced. The forbidden words included "friend", "free", "you", "internet", "remove". The list of forbidden words is long and growing longer by the day, it is difficult to make up proper sentences without using the forbidden words, soon our only way of emailing will be by inventing a new language.

My problem now is that I cannot get email through to my friends and they cannot get email to me. Too late I realised that we neglected to exchange phone numbers: there seemed no point when email was so quick and easy. Now I can't send email, can't receive email, the robot has isolated me.

Only one way left to break out of quarantine and it's a long time since I sat with pen and paper to write letters. I won't use the word processor as I am convinced Marvin will recognise it as a means of communication but I don't think he will know what the pen is for and I doubt he'll be suspicious if I take some envelopes with me next time I go out. A glorified email filter is hardly likely to know the purpose of a mailbox which is not of the virtual variety.

I hear Marvin stir even though I have not switched on my computer, he seems to have the ability to read my mind. There is a faint clanking sound, the smell of ozone, an electrical crackle in the air. His hand on my shoulder is heavy and cold, the steel joints creak as his fingers tighten. I don't think I will be going out to post any letters.

This is one of a series of articles published by the author, Elaine Currie, BA(Hons)at http://www.HuntingVenus.com The author's monthly newsletter is available free from mailto:networkerhvm@ReportsNetwork.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Spam Blocker - Google News

This RSS feed URL is deprecated

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

How To Block Robocalls: Automated Calls Are Rising, Here's How ... - International Business Times


International Business Times

How To Block Robocalls: Automated Calls Are Rising, Here's How ...
International Business Times
The Federal Trade Commission reported complaints about robocalls reached a new high in 2017. Here's how to block the unwanted calls from ringing your phone.

and more »

Cryptojacking Has Gotten Out of Control | WIRED - WIRED


WIRED

Cryptojacking Has Gotten Out of Control | WIRED
WIRED
Cryptojacking, which exploded in popularity this fall, has an ostensibly worthy goal: Use an untapped resource to create an alternative revenue stream for games or media sites, and reduce reliance on ads. It works by embedding a JavaScript component in ...

and more »

Digital publishers cry foul as Google exerts more control over an industry it already dominates - Times of India


Times of India

Digital publishers cry foul as Google exerts more control over an industry it already dominates
Times of India
Here's how the new Chrome browser ad blocking set-up will work: Chrome will have an ad blocker turned on by default. This will block "disruptive" or "intrusive" ads on web pages. Industry body Coalition for Better Ads (CBA), which Google joined this ...
An update on Better Ads | Web | Google Developers Google Developers
Microsoft removes Google's Chrome installer from the Windows Store The Verge

all 97 news articles »

Stop spam calls with the best call- and text-blocker apps - Digital Trends


Digital Trends

Stop spam calls with the best call- and text-blocker apps
Digital Trends
Unwanted calls and texts are a serious problem. There were almost 30 billion robocalls in the U.S. last year according to YouMail research. Thankfully, the Federal Communications Commission is acting to try and protect consumers from unwanted ...

T-Mobile's spam call blocking is coming to MetroPCS - The Verge - The Verge


The Verge

T-Mobile's spam call blocking is coming to MetroPCS - The Verge
The Verge
Back in March, T-Mobile introduced Scam ID and Scam Block, two features that help users avoid annoying robocalls, and now it's bringing the service to MetroPCS. Starting tomorrow, all MetroPCS users will automatically get Scam ID, the feature that ...
MetroPCS Fights Spam Calls Through Scam ID, Scam Block Android Headlines
MetroPCS customers get Scam ID and Scam Block this week TmoNews
Scam ID and Scam Block coming to Metro PCS to stop scammers ... 9to5Mac
T-Mobile Newsroom
all 19 news articles »

Verizon is charging for anti-spam features T-Mobile and AT&T give away for free - The Verge


The Verge

Verizon is charging for anti-spam features T-Mobile and AT&T give away for free
The Verge
More important, however, is the fact that competing carriers offer robocall and spam warnings to their subscribers for free. T-Mobile, for instance, even does so on a network level, so you don't have to download an extraneous app. T-Mobile announced ...

and more »

How to Stop Spam Calls Before You Kill Your Phone - Gizmodo


Gizmodo

How to Stop Spam Calls Before You Kill Your Phone
Gizmodo
Nomorobo, which is used by some carriers, just launched on iOS and identifies spam calls in a similar way—it will set you back $1.99 a month, but unlike Hiya, it won't touch your contacts or call history. Meanwhile, Should I Answer? is free for ...

BT's spam blocker IDs accident claims as top nuisance call • The ... - The Register


The Register

BT's spam blocker IDs accident claims as top nuisance call • The ...
The Register
BT's free spam filter, launched earlier this year to crack down on nuisance calls, has identified accident claims as the worst offender for nuisance calls with 12 million made in the first week of March. Some two million customers have signed up to the ...

and more »

How to block spam on your phone | Fox News - Fox News


Fox News

How to block spam on your phone | Fox News
Fox News
Ting! You've received a new message. You put down your shopping bags, dig into your pocket and pull out your smartphone — and then you frown, because it's from a phone number you've never seen in your life, and the message reads: “REAL ROLEX 90% OFF!”

and more »

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
SuccessfulMatchCentral.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

PreLaunchX

DigyCat Domain Is For Sale - $105,000 For Enquiries eMail Us

© www.DigyCat.com - 2012

home | site map | links